Saturday, December 25, 2010

Christmas Morning Edition

This morning, Anders announced:

"I know I've been good.  I would be okay if I just got sticks and stones in my stocking, though... I wouldn't get frustrated, I'd make something out of them.  I'd make the Titanic out of the stick, and an iceberg out of the stones.  Or I'd add the stick to my woods collection.  It would be okay."

Later: "Did you think I was just going to get sticks and stones in my stocking because I always stick my face in Annika's face and when you tell me not to, I still do it anyway?"

It seems like he spent some time soul-searching this year about which list he might be on.

Annika, while opening Santa presents: COOL! OH COOL! COOL! OOOO COOL! COOL!

Monday, December 20, 2010

Reading and other silly moments

It's been a while since I've updated.  Here are some gems of late:

Tonight, while reading Ecclesiastes picture book, Anders was reading "a time to get, and a time to lose... just like the Vikings are losing?!"

Yesterday: "I'm playing Star Wars and Titanic at the same time!  Sometimes I have a gun, and sometimes the ship is going down!"

Yesterday: "I set up a really great company upstairs with my Legos.  It has a plank on the roof that workers have to walk if they are being bad workers and they jump into the moat.  The moat has sharks."

Yesterday, I was sick: "Mom, since you're sick, I know what I can get for you!"
Me: "An ice pack? Because I don't really need an ice pack."
Anders: "No.  A hug and a kiss!" (he hugs and kisses me) "There! you always need a hug and a kiss to feel better when you're sick!"

Sunday, December 5, 2010

True Love, 5-year-old style

Anders, to his Dad: "I love you more than cold root beer."

I'm jealous?

Anders' Christmas List So Far

Anders added to his wish list today.  Try to figure out what he wants from his own writing.  I placed spaces between the words to make it easier... even though he doesn't put them in yet.

1. u plaamoobil hos
2. plaamoobil fir hos
3. theree cishins
4. legoo stor ws
5. gi joo ikoo vvucl
6. rc rumoo cuntrool cor
7. transfoormr
8. knex
9. u traan sit
10. at-at wocr
11. iurn man moobil lab
12. rumoo cuntrol mlineem vlcon
13. u lagoo hos
14. drem hoom

JUST ADDED - apparently he wants the following stuff the most.
15. u plaamoobil Titanic
16. u cor
17. u plaamoobil arpoort
18. u lego sumren (but he said plaamoobil when he explained it)

He actually asked me: "Is Santa going to be able to read this?"  Yes, honey.  I'm sure he'll figure it out.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Enya and the Titanic

This morning, Anders asked if I wanted to hear the song about when the Titanic was about to hit the iceberg.  I said, "um, sure?"

Anders, singing to the chorus of Enya's classic song, "Sail Away:"

"Steer away...steer away... steer away!   Steer away...steer away... steer away!

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

The Recess Show: War

Anders drew a picture before bed tonight.  When I asked him to tell me about it, he explained that he puts on a show at recess every day with his friends called "War."

So I asked him to explain it further.

"Well, the girls are bad, and the boys are good.  And the girls try to get the boys.  This is a dead guy, and next to him is a poem hole, and there are distress signals coming out of it."

"What is next to him? A 'poem hole'? What is that?"

Anders: "Just forget about that.  These are distress signals exploding up in the sky."

Me: "Ok, so who is this guy, then, and what is he thinking about?" (because there was a stick guy standing above the "dead" guy with a thought bubble coming out of his head."

Anders: "That's T (name of his friend, a boy).  And he's thinking of 'no peace,' because he's a bad guy now, because D (another friend, a girl) got him."  This is when I realize the picture in the thought bubble is a peace symbol surrounded by the international NO symbol.

Me: "Ok, so D got T, and so he's bad.  Who's this guy up here (above the other two)?"

Anders: "That's C (another friend, boy) who is dropping a rock, I mean, a giant snowball on T and D."

Me: "Where are you?"

Anders: "I wasn't in this show picture.  T told me I was supposed to die in this one, and I went through three deaths: First, I was a zombie, then I was a skeleton, and then I was a ghost."  He says this as if it's common knowledge that these are the stages of the afterlife.

When I was a kid, we played war.  We even had "Wheaton War 3," our name for the war (which was named for the street we lived on).  We threw black walnuts and pine cones at each other, and locked up prisoners in the pine trees behind the house.  I even remember a gigantic bruise on my friend's arm after being pegged by one of those walnuts.

I tell this story because I think I grew up to be a well-adjusted adult.  It helps me to remember that playing war on the playground isn't going to lead my son down some horrible path to Apocalypse Now or something.  Still, it's a little surprising to hear my 5 year old talk about war.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Inappropriate Language!

Anders was muttering under his breath, over and over, what sounded like "oh fuck."  I asked him abruptly, "What are you saying?"

"Why does that say "oh-fuc?" (pointing at a word on a magazine)

Big sigh of relief.  "That says 'office'."

Signs: They work

Anders scarfed down a home-made doughnut, then grabbed a piece of paper and made a sign:

1 Moor O 

All written in brown.  He put it in front of what I was reading and marched it around.  We need fewer protest signs in our lives, apparently.

It does make a good three word slogan, though: ONE MORE DOUGHNUT! ONE MORE DOUGHNUT!

Thursday, November 25, 2010

NOO fr ril

I asked Anders to get his jammies on, and he said "Wait! I have to make a really important sign before that."

"Really?  Ok, make the sign, then get your jammies on."  A few minutes later, he comes up to me with the sign.  It reads:
fr ril

"Ok," I say.  "Go get your jammies on."
Anders points to the sign. 
Me, incredulously: "what??"
Anders: "It says NO - for real."
Me: "So you're not going to get your jammies on?"
Anders: "The sign says no."
Me: "And that's the sign you that was so important that you had to make before you got your jammies on?"
Anders: "Yep."

What the Pilgrims had for Thanksgiving

We were eating Thanksgiving dinner when my mother-in-law asked Anders, "Do you know what the Pilgrims had for Thanksgiving?"

Anders: "Indians."

The rest of us: Shocked silence, wide eyes, a few gasps...

Anders: "...FOR GUESTS! For guests."

World Record Attempt

Anders is learning to flip a coin.  So he comes down with two coins, a 50 cent piece and a plastic play coin.  He flips the plastic coin a few times, explaining that he's trying to get the world record in coin flipping.  Then he pulls out the real coin and says:

"It's time to get serious.  I call this one the Scorcher.  Because it's really good."

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Seriously Sirius

Conversation with my boy and my 20 year old brother:

Me: "Anders, what is the name of the ocean the Titanic sailed across?"
Boy: "The Atlantic.  It was the North Atlantic."
Brother: "The Atlantic is between Europe and America?"
Boy: "Yes."
Brother, seemingly surprised: "Huh."

Me: "Do you know what the ocean on the other side of the United States is called?''
Boy: "Polaris?"
Me: "No, the Pacific.  Polaris is the name of the North Star.  Remember?"
Boy: "Oh, yeah.  Polaris.  Betelgeuse is another star."
Brother, staring incredulously: "What??"
Me: "I bet Uncle Paul didn't know that."
Boy: "Really?"
Brother: "Not really..."
Me: "So do you know any other star names?"
Boy, thinking: "The dog star?"
Me: "YES! Sirius is the dog star's name."
Boy: "Oh yeah!  Um, is it called 'serious' cause it's really really true?"

Why aren't we all this brilliant?

Boy was telling me about how this kid was being mean to him and to other people at school.  I asked him, "Why do you think that boy is being mean?"

"I don't know.  It makes me feel bad."

"Well, are you ever mean to anyone at school?"

"No! If you're mean to someone, they won't be your friend!"